Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
