Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
