READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
