he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
