I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
