Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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