We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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