Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
