Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
