we have officially mastered the walk of shame
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
