It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
