It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Ambien. No doubt about it.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
