it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
