i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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