I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
