I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
