Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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