I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
