It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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