Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
