how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
