it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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