that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
