I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
40s are totally the cure
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Oh god it's open bar.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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