one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
