There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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