They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
