why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
