do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
