1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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