Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
