dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
