The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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