I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
