Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
