Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Never underestimate the power of titties
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
