He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
