Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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