it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
