sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
