I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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