I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
