Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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