perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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