I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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