i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
