forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
