i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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