I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
