If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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