I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
