whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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